she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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