i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I will pee on everything he values.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
