Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
