I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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