She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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