We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
