the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
PANTIES FOUND
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