we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
