when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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