my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
