why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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