Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm gonna fight the coyote
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