OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
