I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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