I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
