I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
