I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
