she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
