omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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