I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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