found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My pussy is not your playground.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
