Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
