quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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