can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
