i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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