how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
