I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize