There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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