she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize