we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
