hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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