i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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