people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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