the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
