Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
