How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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