I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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