That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
