My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
