there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
that is very illegal...i love you.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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