This beer is not sobering me up at all
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
