scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
