my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
