I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
