Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize