Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
