Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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