What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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