Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize