So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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