doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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