my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
