My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
