so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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