good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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