They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
