There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
